So last night I wrote a letter home on the patio of the hostel. Outside a drunk from the halfway house next door was rambling about something or other. He was one of those sketchy rail-thin types who always seems to be taking his shirt off and still thinks mullets are cool. Under his well worn ball cap of course.

I went down to the front steps to hang out with some friends who were having a smoke. I ran into them coming from the bathroom, laughing. They looked at me then told me they had to wash their hands. I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow in that way I do. They laughed and told me that some dude asked for a smoke and insisted on shaking their hands. Apparently he was pretty greasy and they felt the need to wash their hands.

Shortly after the guy rambling drunk returned and my friends began to laugh and whisper. Same guy. So drunken white trash mullet guy wanders around a bit, considering coming up the walk to talk to us. After pacing by a few times he heads across the street towards the park. He paused on the sidewalk and looked up a row of flag poles. He then decides to climb one. Both hands wrapped around the post he braced his leg up against the pole and started to walk his way up. He got exactly 1 step before realizing he hadn't the coordination or balance to do such a thing.

His next plan was to climb a large tree. I ficus maybe. A large tree full of bats. And spiders I imagine but bats for sure. He got about ten feet off the ground where he came to a huge knot in the tree where a branch had once been but had fallen out to make way for an eventual moron. Buddy put his hands into the knot and put his feet up above them making a mentally deficient letter y. Y is for, yeah, this is gonna hurt.

Our hero then decides to try and use his ankles to dig into the tree and somehow hoist himself up. Thats when his grip broke. He fell a full ten feet to the ground flat on his back. He landed hard and made the exact sound you would expect. He sat up for a moment and looked dazed enough. I noticed his ball cap managed to stay on just before he fell back into a spread eagle position.

He lay on the ground for quite some time. Eventually his hillbilly buddy comes out in a wife beater with a large beer. He walks over and checks out his buddy. Genius number one sat for some time before getting up and declaring he was fine. He staggered to his feet then fell into the tall grass. He then squeeled with delight, and like an attention starved child rolled around in the tall grass making a huge racket.

Even in his hulking drunken state, hillbilly two had little regard for his buddy and walked away. Eventually genious 1 came back. He saw us watching him, (but pretending not to) and swung by to say hi and let us know not to test gravity, because it works. He was covered with red marks from his fall and several bug bites.

I commented that he's likely to get rabies and my friend Janko told me there is no rabies here. That blows my entire proposition from my last post. Fucking hell.