Thursday, June 16, 2011

One More Reason Why Vancouver Sucks

Way to go Vancouver. A riot? Really? A hockey riot? The only other city that does hockey riots is Montreal...You don't have the pedigree for a hockey riot. And I have no love for Montreal. Tell you what Vancouver, do something amazing sometime. Become a dynasty team. Become a team that breaks records. Become a pioneer and you can earn the right to have a hockey riot. Right now, you're just a spoiled, pathetic embarrassing excuse for a city. Fuck you Vancouver. Fuck you.

Drinking with the swedes again

I've made friends with these three swedish girls from school.  Not only are they really good around a camera, but they're alot of fun to hang out with. 

The other night at about 11 I got call from one of the swedes. I was going to turn in early but, what the hell, they were at a bar just up the street. I wandered up the road. When I got there I saw the girls and a friend of theirs, a girl from New Hampshire. Nice girl. Had no idea where New Brunswick was. We'll not hold that against her though.

One of my friends has a broken foot from a drinking accident. These things happen. Being the nice guy that I am I offered to ferry drinks from the bar for her. On one trip a very attractive woman ran her hand down my back and then turned around like she didn't do it. So of course I called her on it and ended up chatting with her. Unfortunately she was boring as hell. Oh and she wasn't interested in me, she was interested in the three swedish chicks; who were all making out at the time.

So, me, the three Swedish chicks, the chick from New Hampshire and the Aussie lesbian all started drinking. I was going slow because I had things to do the next day. One of the swedes left and wasn't allowed back in. The drunk lesbian started telling me how much she hated me. Then she started really hitting on one of the Swedes, which sorta freaked them out. The girl from New Hampshire told me she wanted to make out with me. One of the swedes went to find the swede that got kicked out. Appearantly the burger place accepts people too drunk for bars, cause that's where she ended up.

The bouncer came over and told me the lesbian had to leave. I told him I didn't know the lass. He told me that she's been sitting at my table. (Typical bouncer logic) I told him she's been sitting at lots of tables, but I didn't show up with her, I ain't leaving with her, if she's gotta go, that's his problem. Well, he didn't like that much, but I was still standing so there wasn't too much he could do. Plus he was confused now.

End of the night, 2 out of 3 swedes are booted out, our new lesbian friend is on a couch crying on some other girl, the girl from New Hampshire gave me her number and I walked home. Ok, not a barn burner of an evening  but, hell, what'd you do this weekend?


I miss hockey. I really do. Not so much that I want to see the Bruins and the Canucks play for the cup. God. Who do you hate more? The Cancucks obviously, but then again do you want to see the cup go to the states AGAIN? Hmmm.

So the other day I was speaking to one of the directors at school and we got to talking about AFL. Aussie rules football. I had mentioned that i wanted to go catch a game. Well, it turns out he's a huge fan of the local team, the Sydney Swans. Don't let the name fool you, these guys are incredibly tough. The next morning I got a call quite early, about 10am (it was Saturday, gimme a break), and the directors wife decided she didn't want to go to the game that day so he asked if I wanted to go. Apparently he's got season tickets, which they call a membership here, and never misses a game.

The game played was between the Sydney swans and the Tigers. I can't recall where the tigers are from. It was pouring rain. Leslie (the guy who took me to the game) introduced me to all the other members in our section and was kind enough to explain the rules to me as we went.  There was a lady in front of us who was at least 70 who was screaming with pure venom at the umpires. A tigers fan in front of us was losing his mind when the calls didn't go his way. Much like home.

The sport is pretty wild. 18 players on each side. 4 umpires (refs) 2 endzone officials and a couple of sideline officials. Plus there are people running out constantly to bring messages to the players, and people with water bottles too. So it looks like organized chaos out there.

Here are some differences between Canadian sporting events and this one. Not one single person got into a fight, or at least tried to fight someone wearing the wrong jersey. The aussies have the common sense to cover parts of their stadium, so when its pouring rain, let alone snowing, the fans don't catch pnemonia. Season ticket holders, or members, get a scan card with their seat number on it instead of a book of tickets. At the concession stands they don't sell burgers or nachos, but they do sell fish n chips and meat pies. Now, given how hot and warming meat pies are, I think this should be a new Canadian CFL tradition. Just a thought.

Here are some similarities. The concession stand in Australia do like to bend their fans over and give em a nice high hard one for the privilege of eating shitty concession stand food, just like Canada. The ride home took twice as long as it should have. At half time they had some local kids come out and play a smaller version of the game. Thats great! Thanks for shelling out for some entertainment team owner. But keep exploiting kids, that's good.

Anyway, I had a great time. AFL is a great game  and its a great plug for the five hole in my heart!

Next game....Rugby union!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Vegetarian Non alcoholic Indian Movies

Went out for a birthday party this week. Went to a place called Godiva. Indian food! Sweet!

So we get there.Smells good. Oh wait...somethings amiss! VEGETARIAN INDIAN FOOD! Dammit!! Sigh. Ok, no problem. I'll try it. Hey, how about a beer while we're waiting? Hmmm...something else seems amis! NON ALCOHOLIC BEER!? Dammit! I had a full on Homer Simpson moment.

The meal was actually good. Love a buffet. Eat till you can barely move. Come to find out, there's a movie theatre downstairs. AND they don't have seats, they have these big cushions you lean back on. AND its only $10. Movies here are insanely expensive. So this is great news!


Sydney is incredibly expensive. My neighbor lives in a small one room place and pays 300/week for it. Oh yeah, under the equator they charge by the week and water swirls the other way in the toilet. To offset this dramatic upshift in the cost of living I took a job as an apartment manager. That means I have to put out the garbage, write a weekly report (its usually late) and check people out when they move out. For these tasks I get my rent reduced to 80/week for an incredibly small apartment. About twice the size of a prison cell. With grill and my own shower.

When a friend of mine moved in I hadn't checked the room out yet. I mis understood the process. I thought the last group was moving out at 2 on tuesday, not that she was moving in at 2 on tuesday. So I show up to clean and the place is a disaster. Oh, and she's moved in. And cleaning. And angry.

Anyway, I offered to clean but she was already into it so yeah...that was that. She complained to the company, I explained what happened, I apologized again. All was right with the world. Except...the previous tennant left bed bugs. That the new tennant inherited. And it was my fault that it wasn't caught before she moved it. She had to take a day off work because the itching was so bad. Apparently they like the warmer parts of the body, underarms, groins....  Its amazing weve become friends. She made me spanikopita one day.

This other guy moved in recently. I had pulled an all nighter that day and didn't get home from school till about 6pm the next. It was friday, I was beat and crashed, out like a light by 730. At 830 he called to say hi. Then he asked what time a good time to call would be. I told him if he needed something he could call any old time. He said not to worry, he'd never call reallly late like after 10 or something. I told him that if was important enough to call me a at , it would be ok to call me after 10. I thought that he might get the hint.

He just called me to let me know his vaccuum isn't working. FFS. It says right on the rental agreement that for shit like that you need to log a report with the rental agency. But, its easier to call the guy downstairs. God knows I've got a stock pile of vacuums stored in my incredibly tiny $80/week apartment.

Another guy came by tonight. "hey, there's water leaking from our shower into the kitchen"
Me: "did you log a report on the website?"
Guy: "No"
Me: "you should do that"
Guy: "Oh"
Me: "'member the last time this happened?"
Guy: "yeah"
Me: "member that I said you should log it on the website?"
Guy: "yeah"
Me: "So its the same thing right?"
Guy:" yeah"
Me: "I'm gonna get back to making my omlet then"

Oh, and no one here speaks english as their first language. Bed bug girl - French. Water in the kithcen guy - Danish. Guy who keeps parking his truck in the back where he's not supposed to - Irish.

Anyway, off for a run with the bedbug girl.

Bollywood BABY!!

So my friend Sam calls me the other day. I'd just stepped into the shower, but answered the phone anyway. Why do I do that? So there I am dripping on the carpet telling him that I just got back from shooting a doco 5 mins before. He asked how tired I am, I say am fine, whats up? You wanna be the focus puller on a Bollywood movie in Strathfield?

Well where the fuck is Strathfield I ask, not that it matters, I'm going to say yes.

I dunno, says Sam, you can take a train though, its in the city.

Yeah ok, what are the details?

You need a focus pulling kit.

Shit, I don't have one, nevermind, I'll call around or pick up the gear I need....Uh, whats the directors name?

Guy's name is Shane, give him a shout. I'll be joining tomorrow I just happen to be out of town.


So I call the guy, get the details and grab my shower. FINALLY a hot shower. I call around and I can't get the stuff I need so I hit a hardware store for a tape and get some markers and gaffer tape from a new agency (Magazine shop back home) and hit the train.

I show up about 2 hours after I got the call. Oh hi Luke. Hi Shane. We're just setting up. Sweet.

Theres a massive gaffer truck outside with a HUGE generator. They type you tow. The gaffer is the dude that does all the lighting. This guy's got tons of it. The house is brand new and huge. And spotless. Almost no furniture. Inside I meet who I think is the producer, Stanley. Really nice guy. I speak with the gaffers, they're cool. Some dude named Nate was there, he runs his own production company, just starting out, hoping to get some work with Stanley in the future.

Suddenly people show up everywhere. All these old indian folks. Apparently we're shooting a party scene. So we take some measurements and start to film. The thing is, Shane isn't the director, Stanley is, but he's not really directing, he's kind of producing. And theres no AD. So no one is running the show. So Shane is sort of running the show. We film a few scenes of this STUNNING girl coming down stairs to announce the start of the party. Then we film some mingling, a close up of the girl again, then a guy coming down the stairs.

Suddenly, everyone is gone. Like that. (Picture me snapping my fingers) Like that. (Good) Now, for some reason, the people who own the house have a stage build in front of a window in the front room. What we find out is that there will be three dancing girls on this stage doing a routine. Traditional indian dancing, but kind of modernized and super sexy. The girls show up and they are gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous. The only problem is, no one rehersed their routine with the stage.

We set up to shoot while the choreographer goes through the motions. 3 hours later, listening to the same shitty indian pop song watching these girls do the same three things over and over and all of a sudden they just decide to leave. Bang. Gone. We're standing their with this set up ready to go.

I'll shorten the next days story. about 2 hours set dressing, they decide to go back to the way we had it the night before. 2 or 3 hours standing around while they reherse. We finally get the shots. Then they reherse the stair part. Candles everywhere, one girl dragging this veil down the stairs, she alost lights herself up as the veil goes through a candle. About 9 my buddies leave. At 11 I left to make sure I can catch the last traing.

The next day I hear that just after I left there was a huge blowout. The producers husband ( oh, Stanely's not the producer, this lady that's been hanging out and is really annoying is the producer, she's a doctor and finanacing the whole thing. First movie, knows nothing about making movies juest always wanted to make one.) ...anyway the producers husband comes out, tells everyone to fuck off and get the hell out of his house. Apparently an entire day of listening to the same shitty Indian pop song (its actually pretty good if you're into pop) has a negative effect on the aged.

At the end of the day (2days) I made 200 bucks ($40 of which i spent on supplies) and I haven't been paid yet.