Kayaking In Laos

I mentioned to a guy I met through work that I was going kayaking before work one day and he asked if he could come along. Since then we've become friends so I was pretty stoked to have the company when I finally went this morning. I invited Peter Pan along too and he said yes, so it was a good group.

He spoke to a travel company next to our hotel a few days ago and got us a deal for 80,000 kip, roughly 10 bucks.  Great deal. I'd asked another outfitter to set me up and he quoted me $25. He had found out we were working on a film and figured we could afford it I guess. Little does he know...

We met our guide at 8am, 10 minutes later we were in the back of a truck travelling down beaten old roads surrounded by some of the most gorgeous scenery I've ever seen.  15 minutes later we put in. Our guide was a young guy with a good sense of humour. He asked if we could swim. There were no lifejackets anywhere but he asked anyway. He made a little safety harness for my glasses too. I asked if I was going to need that. He laughed and put my kayak in.

The ride started on a gentle stream. We passed goats with their kids playing on almost vertical banks. Cattle roamed in and around the water. The mountains pressed upward into the morning haze as the sun desperately tried to break through. Our guide pointed out things of interest; caves, wildlife, different buildings. Once in a while we'd hit some small rapids and get a bit of a charge out of the extra rush of water.

Our guide chatted with me along the way. We traded stories about our homelands. He asked if I'd ever eaten snake. I said I had. He told me a real man in Laos eats snake and dog. He looked a little sideways when I said I'd never had dog before.

After 4 k we took a bit of a break. Not that the trip so far was very strenuous, but most of us had been sitting in hotel chairs at computers 12 hours a day for the past 2 months.  The sun was shining now and we were really enjoying the morning. After about 10 minutes we put in again and went on our way.

We booked through a company that doesn't have a name but is directly beside the front stairs of the Silver Naga hotel.

Vang Vieng is known for tubing. The same river we were kayaking is used daily by hundreds of intoxicated foreigners to float past a gauntlet of bars, each eager to toss you a line and sell you a bucket of something. I'm not judging, I fully intend to be one of those intoxicated foreigners early next week. But this morning we were out before the festivites began. The launch area, where the bars, swings, beer pong, mud volleyball and ziplines live was calm. The water was glassy save a few long tails shuttling beer  to the thatched roof bars across the river. A few were playing dub step even at this early hour, but no one was really about.

Just past the tubing area I saw a water buffalo completely submersed save the top of his head and snout. Another was wading shoulder deep by the bank. They gave me a bit of a warning snort as I paddled out of my way toward them, so I gave them a wide berth. A few catfish swam by at one point and a flurry of bubbles surfaced at another time. My curiosity must have shown, somy guide told me not to worry, probably just a crocodile.

We arrived back at the Silver Naga hotel and pulled ashore. Our guide took care of all our gear for us and we were on our was. A fantastic way to start the day, I was in high gear all morning. I wasn't until about 3pm that I felt the need for a power nap. I love

Laos

We landed in Udon Thani in a plane with a duck bill painted nose. A quick drive brought us to the border. It took about an hour to get about 30 of us through. Travelling with a 70 year old Thai TV star makes life interesting. People stopped to ask her questions or get pics and she'd make them laugh with her antics.

Welcome to Laos, pop 6,200,894. The hammer and sickle flags are a dead give away that we'd entered a communist state. Be that as it may, capitalism is alive and well here. The myriad of electronics, tonics, and pirated harmonics (music dvds, its a stretch, I know, but if you can do better....) on display at the duty free is a testament to that.
   
~Things I've learned in Laos: If there is a light above your bed LEAVE IT OFF or a staggering number of minuscule flies will fly into the light and stay there until they are cooked to death, only to fall onto your pillow.


After a few purchases we loaded the vans for a 4 hour trip over the worst roads I've ever driven on...and I've driven to Indian Mountain and back. Its not like dirt roads, its worse. It's dirt roads that used to be paved, but years if not decades of indifference have left them a mangled track of jutting tarmac and stone peppered between ten meter stretches of solid pavement. Our driver treated it like the groomed concrete of a formula 1 track. Passing on blind corners, being forced onto jarring shoulders where holes and stone were the norm, and dodging oncoming traffic seemed very much the norm to him.



Arriving in Vang Vieng is like arriving in a past that's been victimized by the present. Thatched huts line the roads along the village. Legions of scooters scamper through the streets overtaken by rumbling trucks and vans laden with inner tubes and foreigners. Restaurants featuring raised seating platforms with stubby little tables face plasma screens blasting Friends, or The Family Guy. I would hazard that 90 percent of restaurants or bars are playing one of those two shows. Depending on the time of day, the corpses of stoned or hung over backpackers are strewn across the cushions and mats at each table.


~Things I've learned in Laos:  A bottle of Whiskey for 15,000 kip (+/- $1.80). If there's a snake in it, "Don't worry, it acts like viagra"-bartender, Smile Bar.


Colonised by the French, their Asian servants fought back and reclaimed Loas leaving behind a varied culinary culture. Coffee, baguettes and pasteries are served neatly beside Larp and Laos BBQ. The food is amazing and cheap. The latest incarnation of Laos cuisine includes pizzas, garlic bread, brownies and milkshakes prepared with weed, mushrooms or opium. It's been the hot topic of discussion over dinner lately.


Drugs are highly illegal, this being asia, and a communist country no less, however the trend is tolerated here. While walking with a long haired buddy in a hawiian shirt one evening, a guy on a moped stopped out of the blue before us, shut off his engine and asked if we wanted to get happy. I almost had my belt undone before he said, "No, do you want to buy drugs? Weed? Opium?" 
"ooooohhhh"


~Things I've learned in Laos: The more fun the shit on the menu is, the less fun the staff is.


Each year 9 Australians, usually young backpackers, die in Vang Vieng. Most drown while tubing down the river. The wide variety of bars along the river eager to toss you a line and refill your Whisky/Redbull bucket may or may not be a contributing factor. Other dangerous yet fun activities include Kayaking, Hot Air Ballooning, Boat Tours, Rock Climbing, Spelunking in any of the various caves in the area, and Rock Climbing.


The other major pass time is drinking. BeerLao, the local brew is exceptionally good. Buckets of booze and redbull are dirt cheap and often come with free TShirts. Thatched roof huts serve as bars with hammocks, beer pong, pool and makeshift dance floors. Fire dancers light up the night. Most are staffed with expats who've elected to extend their vacation in exchange for lo/no pay and a free room. 


~Things I've learned in Laos: The party doesn't start till after midnight.