Krabi - open flies and ass massages

Thai people have this annoying habit of extending the last syllable of every word fir about three beats. There's a little upwards inflection at the end... You want Thai massaaa-aaage? Next stop station Surat Thanieeeee-eee. You want order some pad thaaaa-aaaai?

First thing in the morning when you're tring to sleep and the porter is announcing every stop on the way to your destination it's really aggrivating. And he repeated each station over and over as he passes through the sleeping car.

On the way to the beach...
Sir you want to buy a suuu-uuit? Tailor just for yoooo-oooou. No I don't want a suit, I'm wearing flowered shorts and a wifebeater carrying a towel and sun screen. Unless there's a board meeting at the beach and Donald trump is gonna fire someone, I'm not in need of a tailored suit, two shirts and two ties at the moment. But thanks dude, good eye! Of course I'll probably need a suit at some point when I'm in Aus and will kick myself for not investing the $100.

I'm pretty good natured but after a while you get tire of politely smiling and saying Mâi ao khàp khun(no thank you). Yesterday on the way to meet a friend I had been pitched about 50 items before I got half way to where I needed to be. At one point some guy looks at me "sir..." I cut him of and sigh "Mâi ao khàp khun..." with no small hint of aggitation. "but sir, your zipper is down". I turned, looked down, saw the errant fly and just looked at the guy embarrased. He was just trying to do me a favor and I was growly. I laughed and gave him heart felt thanks in Thai and zipped up. He realized I was apologetic and just laughed. They really are easy going and nice here most of the time.

Tonight I booked a scuba trip, booked a hotel for tomorrow, bought a dry bag and got a coconut oil Thai massage. I smell like a piña collata. Little did I know that the coconut oil doubles the price of the massage. However, I felt so good afterwards I gladly ponied up the $12. Shoulda asked for a receipt :).

The massage was great, in an open air gazebo on a lane following the beach. I could hear the waves and, at a nearby resort, a guitar player was crooning soft rock ; tears in heaven, hotel California, bob marley tunes, brown eyed girl... All the stuff I used to play down at the beach when we had bonfires.

The funny thing about the massage was, she had me strip down right there in the salon, which is open to the road. So I get down to my skivvies. Luckily they werent a ratty old pair. Then she has me lay on my belly, throws a towel over my posterior, and prceeds to tuck it into my underwear. Now half my ass is hanging out for the whole beach to see. Not only that, she spent a great deal of time working on my glutes. With her elbows. Apparently massages get pretty personal. More than once she had her hands in my CKs and I wondered if MY coconuts were going to get oiled.

At one point she was actually walsing up the backs of my legs. It felt fantastic.When all was said and done I got up feeling groggy and happy. I actually walked away without Laing then I went back and apologized and paid with a tip.

Then I joined a new friend of mine from Austria and I got a bite at a resort where they had a fire show. Spinning flaming batons etc and a fire breather. Very cool. The food was divine. I'd gotten the buffet so I snuck out two pieces of chocolate cake from the dessert cart and we ate them on the beach whilst paper lanterns were set afloat at points all along the beach. Now I'm at the hostel and ready to fall asleep. Time to set the alarm and try to get 6 hours sleep before my big scuba day. Back home everyone's Monday is just beginning. Have a great day everyone, we'll see you in the morning...