Insomnia on the high seas - Things to do late at night

So, the other morning I came home around 5 am and I was still wide awake. This whole insomnia thing is driving me nuts.

Last night I stayed up and was watching the Love Boat. They show reruns of shitty 80s tv shows here in the middle of the night. Like home.

Anyway. Gopher fell in love last night. To a beautiful rich italian girl who had a horrible italian accent. It was a to be continued episode. So I have to watch tonight to see how it turns out.

But then i realised, when I woke up around noon, that EVERY night, some staffer on the Loveboat falls in love. I mean, I've seen the captain fall in love at least 3 times, Adam ( the doctor, but we're on a first name basis, it is my blog) has fallen in love with several women an even married a russian...gymnast? contortionist? violinist? drunk? one of those stereotypical russian thingies.

This is my 5th time seeing gopher fall in love. And it occurred to me. Most cruises are between 5 and 7 days aren't they? Can someone fall in love, on a boat, in that amount of time? I mean, I'm suppose its possible. But then, lets say the crew is actually falling in love when they do. They must be falling out of love by the time of the next sailing. So they're falling in and out of love in the span of a week, once every couple of weeks. I think they should be aging faster.

The last time I fell in and out of love I had most of my hair. Ok, that was a while ago, but there is a noticeable difference in photographs between now and then.  Now, given that effect on me, I think it shows, scientifically, that the crew on the love boat are FAR too young looking to fall in and out of love so many times every year. Gopher still has all his hair, its not even grey. Isaac's fro stands as high as ever. Julie doesn't even have crows feet. And the doctor, well, lets be fair, he's probably been shooting himself up with HGH for decades. He could be 120 yrs old for all we know.

Television is full of shit.