Petit Miam

If there's two things I hate its child actors and the French butchering the English language. Let's face it. Most child actors are awful. Except for that kid in the 6th Sense maybe. There might be another one who wasn't bad. But for the most part, they're about as good as the artwork they bring home forcing their dutiful parents to litter their refrigerators with so much wax covered refuse.

And the French. For the love of God, it's TH. Not D. How hard is that really? I mean, LITTLE kids can pronounce TH. You're telling me an adult Frenchman can't press his tongue against is front teeth and blow? You're not even trying!

In all honesty, the French accent isn't as hot as it is in the movies. There are a few rare exceptions. I had a 23 year old blonde neighbour who managed to make it sound like a chorus of drunken pillow fighting angels. But thats it.

Well, the two banes of my existence collided recently when a television station here in Aus started showing an ad for some sort of kid-targeted yogurt. The premise is this: They named the yogurt Petit M'iem, which is damn near impossible for a four year old to say. So they hire a four year old to say it. Over and over. He stumbles and stutters through a rambling story about the benefits of this fruit filled vomitous dairy cocktail. Each time he gets to the stupid product name, and stuffs it up, his older, obnoxious, precocious sister corrects him. Smug little brat. If I wanted to hear a stuttering French kid talk about dairy I'd go to france and find some special school for kids with speech impediments, slosh my way through the saliva coated floors and find some poor wretched farm kid and ask him what le Vache does.

Honest to God, if the representive from Yoplait were here right now, I would throw them in a pit in my basement and force them to eat gallons of shitty yogurt that I would serve to them via a basket on a string. If they didn't eat it they would get the hose.

Here is an open letter to Yoplait. Dear Yoplait. Fuck off. The Petit Miam ads; not cute. Annoying. I hope your marketing person gets some sort of lactose intolerance disorder that causes severe bloating and noxious gas when they even think about yogurt.