Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Fuck Telus

I noticed that Telus has an ad appearing on my blog. Please click it, it will cost them 25 cents. Of which I'll get 1.2579872 cents. Then, all together, say....FUCK TELUS. Those bitches owed me 67$ for over 2 years. Each month they'd send a letter saying they owed me 67$, but never a cheque. Dirty bastards. It went on for TWO YEARS!!

A friend told me the new Spiderman movie was epic. I gave him a copy of "The Odessy". His head exploded.
I went to the new spiderman movie. Another retelling of his origins. The guy behind me, a 40 something dude with a moustache spent the entire previews providing specific details on the failings of the Toby McGuire spiderman flicks. Then the preview for Total Recall started. He  loudly pronounced his disgust for remakes in hollywood and demanded some originality. Then we watched the new spidermand movie. Another retelling of his origins. 40 something dork talked the whole way through. FML.

Luke the Bouncer - Whats with Airdrie chicks!?

When I was out clubbing, if I was bother a girl (which happened alot) she'd just be rude to me until I went away. In Airdrie, they come running to the bouncer. WTF?

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Luke the Construction Guy

So I took a job doing construction to help pay the bills. I hate it with a passion. I'm out the door by 6am (I'm not a morning person). The other day a wall fell on me. Just fell and hit me. Knocked me off a platform. I have a scar.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Bath Salts

What's with bath salts? Seriously that's the new drug? Dude, if you're getting your drugs at Bed Bath and Beyond you're doing something wrong.

Luke the Bouncer 1

So I took a job working as a bouncer at a bar. I hate bouncers. That hasn't changed, but I'm starting to see their side of things. The other night I walked around the corner to find a girl throwing a pint of beer at some dude. He then dumped his on her, missing and hit my manager. Then all the other girls in her posse got involved. There was much screaming and kicking. Once I got the girls out I told the beer dumping guy he had to leave. He couldn't understand why. Then his buddies all waited for me in the parking lot at the end of the night. They didn't recognize me when I'd walked by them at then end of the night. I'd taken my cowboy hat off which must have confused them. Old Jedi mind trick that is....